my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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