When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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