its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
