either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
