Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
