She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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