New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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