Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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