I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
