was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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