I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
