you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize