Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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  (323): Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though. (562): The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt (323): fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me http://tfl.nu/hrtm
  Replies (30) Good night (2386) Bad night (790)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"

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  (801): so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!" http://tfl.nu/yefk
  Replies (25) Good night (986) Bad night (11315) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (10964) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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  (318): Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/wfb6
  Replies (15) Good night (3440) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  (304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b
  Replies (25) Good night (4513) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4089) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  everybody makes mistakes

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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  (630): everybody makes mistakes (1-630): i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances http://tfl.nu/cihb
  Replies (23) Good night (6555) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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  (917): I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home. http://tfl.nu/9xms
  Replies (13) Good night (5641) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.

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  (+61): Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme. http://tfl.nu/6yp3
  Replies (13) Good night (2626) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

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  (641): FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS. http://tfl.nu/fecm
  Replies (5) Good night (1861) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.

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  (208): Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex. http://tfl.nu/ah09
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

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  (469): How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder? http://tfl.nu/t2rf
  Replies (9) Good night (267) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

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  (734): my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW http://tfl.nu/rle5
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.

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  (214): We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla. http://tfl.nu/hnzh
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (112) Order T-Shirt

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