She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.