he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad