My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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