if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
