Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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