im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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