my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize