she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
