I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
