hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
