YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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