never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
