she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
