No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
