woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
