good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
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Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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