How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
