Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
