I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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