The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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