I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
