Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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