I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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