I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
