i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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