My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
