her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
