Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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