dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
