I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
