You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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