I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
