so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Are my feet made of real feet?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
