pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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