glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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