i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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