I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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