So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize