never play flip cup with pint glasses
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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