Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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