First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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In other news, I just burned my penis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.