I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me