We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had