Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Randomize
