Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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