it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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