Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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