i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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